An amazing breakthrough and the program draws to a close

It has been a tough couple of months for me and the C25K program.  I haven't given up though and despite the great desire to stay in bed, morning after morning, I forced myself to get up and go for my run.  Last week, I decided I needed to really take stock of my situation: (1)  I wasn't seeing any new results on my waistline, (2) I wasn't really feeling I could add more distance, (3) despite the fact that it is usually quite chilly, I was feeling too overheated during my runs, and (4) no matter how much stretching I did, my lower calves always seemed to be too tight to continue running. 

I decided I had to make some changes - both mental and physical.  First, I decided I needed to stop wearing my ball cap while running, so I braided my hair and clipped the bangs out of my face.  This may seem a minor point, but I can't stand having hair sticking to my sweaty face and I also hate the feeling of a pony tail or clump of hair bouncing on the back of my neck.  I also decided that I needed to loosen up a bit while I was running and take longer, more bounding strides.  I figured my calves were cramping up so much because the effort of taking smaller more controlled steps was working against me.

So last Saturday, I had planned on running in a 2M race.  I had been looking forward to it until I found that the route was mostly uphill and that by and large, people walked it.  Once I found that out, I decided I would be better off hitting the trail near my house and trying for a 2.75 mile run for week 8.  What a good decision this turned out to be!  Not only did the changes I made help, I felt totally in control.  For the first time in a while, I felt strong enough and sure enough to make it.  I stopped twice for about 30 seconds to catch my breath a bit, but I ran the entire way and in fact, when I got to my end point, I felt so good, I kept on running and by the time I stopped, I had run almost 3.5 miles!  That is the longest run I have ever completed and I was AMAZED that I had done it.  I repeated it again yesterday and will do so tomorrow as well and it is my intention to declare myself a C25K graduate once I have finished!

I am so glad I stuck with it through the rough patch and can only say that if you are out there and you are going through a rough patch and you feel that it just isn't clicking, don't give up.  Persevere and you will feel the rewards.  I can say this because I now know it to be true and if I CAN DO IT, so can you!

Week 7 finale and feeling good!

I had a great run today!  I am so happy to say it because it has been a long time since I've been able to do so.  I began at the same place (once again) that my race began and I followed the same route, except instead of turning around at the one mile mark, I kept running along a little one lane dirt trail that follows the coast line.  It is only about .25 miles until it takes a big turn and moves steeply upward, but it was long enough for me today.  When I got to that point, there was a tiny little trail about 50 feet long that led right out to the water and a huge piece of drift wood.  I stopped there to take a look and stretch my calves (because let me tell you, they get so darn tight and I can't really seem to stretch enough to keep them loose) and after about 2 or 3 minutes, I was back on my way.  I stopped again only for a few seconds to greet a father and his daughter that I knew and I ran back to the park.  I ran the rest of the way and had no inclination or desire to stop at all.  I was enjoying it and feeling really good.  My journey was 32 minutes start to stop which is not great, but I did it!  And for the first time in a while I am really looking forward to my next run.

I hope this keeps up and I feel like today was a major breakthrough mentally for me.  Another good run or two and I will believe that I am back on track.  For now, I remain cautiously optimistic and surer than I have been in a long time that I CAN DO IT!

Another week 7 run with some better results

I did manage to get out there yesterday and go for a run.  I repeated the same run I did the time before on the same trail and it was nice.  My wonderful husband postponed going to work (it is nice when you work for yourself!) so I was able to get my son on the bus at 7:30 and then go for my run.  It was nice to be a little more awake and have the blood flowing a little more before I hit the road!

What was also nice was that I felt a little more able to push myself than I have been of late.  Again, I think the physical part has been there all along, so I think the mental aspect is starting to come back.  I need to find a way to get in a workout tomorrow or Friday since my hubby went out of town and I'll be on my own with the kiddos.  I know I can take my daughter with me in the stroller and I suppose I will if I can't work anything else out, but really, I just want to go alone (hear my toddler whining voice there?)!

Also, I am pretty far away from hitting the 5K mark.  I should have been there by now, but alas, I am not and so I am thinking that I am going to run the two mile race again next weekend and will attempt to better my time from the first race (20:54!).  There is another 5K I can run in early October and I think I am going to shoot for that one.  Sorry if I am letting anyone down, but I'd like to run an entire race and not have to stop and walk, so this is the direction I am going.  I've adjusted the path I am taking to get there, but the goal remains the same... I will finish C25K and will continue to run because I know it is what I need to do to BE healthy and promote healthiness to my children.  If ever there was a good reason to stick to something, that is it.  And for that reason, because I love my children and myself and I want to live long to see them grow to be health,y happy adults, I remain convinced as ever that no matter how tough it may seem at times, I CAN DO IT!

Week 7 - limping right along

While I haven't really hit my stride since racing day, I haven't given up either.  I know that I am physically able to do this, so the problem I am experiencing lately is clearly mental.  I feel quite sure that a large part of it is my boredom and frustration with the local route.  I haven't really gotten to the heart of anything else, but I have a mental block happening and it is making this process quite challenging.

Despite the fact that I haven't been blogging religiously (in part due to a very busy end of summer schedule and in part due to computer issues that I hope are nor resolved), I have been getting up every other day and completing a run.  I don't feel they have been very impressive and I don't even feel that I have pushed myself to the next level.  In fact, I'd have to say that what I have been doing these last few weeks is going through the motions.  I VERY much want to overcome this and get back the passion that had been building over the first part of my C25K journey.

Today was a good step in that direction.  After a cup of coffee and a few bites of breakfast, I was able to dress and head out...except this time, I got in my car and did some driving around to check out some other neighborhoods and the coastal trails near my home.  I ended up starting my run where my race had begun a few weeks ago, but this time, ran in the opposite direction.  It was a nice trail and people were riding their bikes, jogging and walking their dogs.  I ended up down on a little trail off the main one along School Road that had me running right at the ocean.  It was breezy and quiet and I quite enjoyed the run.  At the end of the trail, I stopped and stretched some more and then turned back to head toward my car.  I admit that I did walk a few times for 10 - 20 seconds, but ran most of the way and enjoyed it far more than I have in weeks.  The total distance was just shy of 2.4.  I wasn't keeping track of my time, but am pretty sure I was going for a little more than 25 minutes.  Not great.  Not a total week 7 success, but a step in the right direction.

I wish that I could share a more successful outing with you, but I have confidence that more will be coming soon!  I hope my honesty about this reminds you all that we can't give up and that everyone struggles at times.  If you are out there trying to find the motivation to get out there or have, like me, been struggling to finish C25K, like me, just get out there.  Even if it isn't as good as it has been or you can't quite get as far or as fast as you want, you just need to get out there and put one foot in front of the other.  Stick with the routine and commitment to the overall goal...even if you get off track a bit, at least you can feel good about being out there and not derailing completely!

My son starts kindergarten tomorrow and he is slow to get going in the mornings.  This means I'll be waking him at 6:30 to have him ready on time for his bus.  What this means for me and my run schedule, I do not yet know.  Something will have to change because I won't run alone in the dark and as the fall continues on and winter moves in, I won't be able to run earlier...My husband is very committed to doing his part to make me successful in this goal, so I know we'll come up with something that works.  Of course we will because he knows and you know and I know:  I CAN DO IT!

Running, exercise and apologies

So the fact that I haven't updated my blog since the race does not mean that I have abandoned my mission!  I have done a couple runs and went on a little end of summer vacation with my family, so getting to the writing has been difficult.  My computer is even down and my husband left me his laptop for the day so I could catch up on some business.  While visiting family and friends in Sacramento, I did get to use my mother-in-law's gym and did my miles on the elliptical trainer.  I must say, I LOVED IT!  It felt like a great workout, but my knees felt so good.  It is now my mission in life to attain one for my home.  Would be nice to have it in the winter especially!  But until then, I'll keep running! 

Tomorrow is another run day and I am planning to repeat Week 6, Day 3.  Interval running is a thing of the past and I need to now focus on getting the distance under my belt...I need to be running 5K in just under a month, so that needs to drive me forward.  I am hopeful that I'll be able to write tomorrow, so keep your eyes out for the update!  And remember, we can do this.  We can be healthy, happy, physically fit, and sane.  Some days it may seem impossible, but we must always remind ourselves that though there are bumps in the road from time to time, we can do it!

On your marks. Get set. Go!!!

Strange as this may sound, I was not the least bit nervous when I woke up yesterday morning.  I'd been battling the nerves all week, but when I got out of bed, I felt calm and collected.  Sweet!  Started the day with water and a few sips of coffee.  I got ready  and dressed the kids, then said goodbye and drove away.  I parked about a mile from the starting line so I could walk and get warmed up.  It was super foggy out and the mist in the air was pretty thick...it was going to be a wet one for sure.

I arrived in plenty of time to sign myself up and get my number.  I can't tell you how proud I was to pin my number to my shirt.  It was very exciting.  While stretching and waiting, I was happy to bump into a few ladies I knew.  To my surprise and awe, they were running in the half-marathon race.  I never would have imagined at the beginning of this year that I'd be voluntarily entering myself into a 2-mile race, so I'll never say never, but it is difficult to imagine myself running over 13 miles.  And these people are running 13 miles at the same pace I run 2, so my hat is off to them!

My family arrived about 15 minutes prior to race time and my 5 year old son was excited to see one of his old preschool mates there...getting ready to run in the 2-miler.  His mom was running the 1/2 marathon and he and a small group of his friends were running the shorter race together.  First, kudos to them...I respect greatly that they are capable at this age of doing this and following through.  That being said, all my previous banter about coming in dead last went out the door.  There was no way I could let a bunch of 6 and 7 year olds beat me!  So with a new sense of purpose and motivation, I got myself over to the starting line and waited for it to begin.

That's me at the front of the pack, 3rd from the right.

I stood there listening to the instructions being given then heard the words.  "On your mark."  Here we go.  "Get set."  Oh my goodness.  "Go!"  Holy shit, I'm doing this!  I took off with everyone and saw my kids and husband waving goodbye out of the corner of my eye.  I quickly came to realize an important truth about racing:  unless you're really fast and you're in it to win it, don't stand in the front!  I came out running far faster than my normal pace and regretted it right away.  I had to resume a more normal pace or I'd never make it, but had to let countless runners pass me to do so.  My competitive instincts and my sense of self-preservation were at odds, but logic had to win out over emotions here.  By the half-mile mark, I was far more winded than normal and I had to work really hard to maintain my pace and catch my breath.  By now, the leaders had already reached the mile mark, turned around were beginning to pass me in the other direction.   Not sure who was running the shorter race or the longer, I had no idea where I stood at that point.  Finally, I made it to the halfway point and stopped just long enough to take my jacket off and tie it around my waste and take one long, deep breath.  I turned around and was back on my way.  It was not until this moment that I realized that the small, wee ones were close on my trail!  Let me tell you, it was just the kick in the pants I needed to keep the pace up.

It wasn't more than a quarter mile later that two of the boys came screaming by me.  I couldn't believe it, I thought I had been keeping up a rather good pace for myself and I was surprised to be passed so fast and watch them create a large and larger distance between us.  I stayed my course though and kept moving as fast and best as I could.  Slowly but surely, I gained on one of the boys, then, he had to stop, but as I passed him, I saw the other boy staying strong.  I just focused on that kid and set my sights on catching him.  We were getting closer to the end and I was beginning to see the finish line.  He still had a sizable lead on me, but I was making up some ground.  As we exited the trail we had been running on and the space opened up into the lot where everyone was gathered, he slowed, but I stayed strong.  In the end though, he crossed the finish line 5 seconds ahead of me!  I thank that little guy though for keeping me strong and making me push to the very end...the next runner ahead of us was about a minute away, so having someone (even, especially, because it was a kid) so close to me kept me pushing hard.

Just a few moments before I crossed the line, before
my son passed me with my husband and daughter
following in the rear.  What a great cheering squad!

I do need to mention that as I came into the big lot near the finish, my 5 year old ran out to me and finished the race with me, or, I should say, just ahead of me and as I crossed the line, he turned to me and said, "I beat you mommy!"  That's fresh.  In the end, I finished the race 20th out of 31 people with a time of 20:54 and I felt really great about that.  I far exceeded my own expectations for the race and I felt so proud of myself.  I also felt exhausted, thirsty, sweaty and hot!  I got myself some water, a piece of watermelon and slapped 5 with some of the other runners I had met that morning.  I even congratulated the little guy that beat me and told him how impressed I was (then secretly sneered to myself that I had his number and I'd be kicking his ass next time!)

So now I get back to finishing the C25K program and preparing for my next race...a 5K on September 11.  Today I feel much more enthusiastic for it than I have in a few weeks.  I also feel a bit sore, but that happens!  So any of you out there reading this who feel fear or doubt, just know that you can do it.  I never would have thought I could, and after yesterday, I feel on top of the world and proud to not only to say that I CAN DO IT, but that I DID DO IT!

The pre-race run

Once again, I decided to skip the program run and do my own thing.  Today, my own thing was to run two miles without stopping.  Not 20 minutes or two miles, whichever comes first, but two miles, and today I timed myself (to the minute, not second).  This was a very good idea because what I found was I was doing a lot better than I thought I was.  At then end of the first mile, I was at about 9-10 minutes.  I stopped briefly to stretch my calves and take off my sweatshirt (about 1 minute) then got right back to it.  My second mile was slower, about 11-12  minutes, but to have gone start to finish in 23-24 minutes, I was very pleased with myself.  Sure, I have room for improvement, but I feel much more confidant going into my race on Saturday and feel a little closer to where I was before vacation.  That is some great progress and I am so relieved for it!  I will keep this brief today and end with a promise of details from the first race (and a picture if I can muster it!)...Saturday is the first real test of my progress and I feel better about it than I could have hoped.  I am filled with excitement and confidence and the knowledge that I CAN do it!

Getting ready for my first race

Since I will be running in my first ever race as an adult this Saturday, I decided that my time was best spent this week making sure I was ready for the 2 mile event.  That said, I skipped week 6, day 2 this morning and plotted out a 2.6 mile route.  I did my warm-up walk and got to running.  I ran most of the way, but did stop briefly to stretch my calves and catch my breath a couple of times.  All in all, I'd say I ran close to two miles, but not all of it.  I know that I've said it is OK if I come in dead last on Saturday, and it is, really, deep down I know that it is OK, but still, there is a part of me that is really nervous and hopes I don't make an ass of myself.  It won't be long now until we know and the comfort I will take, if I do in fact embarrass myself, is that it will make for an entertaining blog update that will provide my loyal readers a hearty laugh.

What I really hope though is that I exceed my own expectations on Saturday.  I hope that the energy of all the other runners helps me get back the spark I've been looking for.  I looked up the results from last year's race and am fairly certain that I will be in the back of the heap.  The course is a one mile there and back so we finish where we started.  My husband and kids will be there to cheer me on at both ends, so that will be really nice. I laugh to know that some people finished the race last year in less time than it takes me to go a mile, but with any luck, seeing a runner passing me in the other direction will give me some motivation to kick it up a notch.  The real goal for Saturday though  is that I finish the race and feel good about it and myself.  That's all I can hope for.  So the rest of this week, in addition to readying myself physically for Saturday, I will also be readying myself mentally.  I have to talk my nerves away, and remind myself that I can do this.  I will do this.  When summer began, the idea of running in any race was absurd and I can't let myself forget how far I have come.  I am so proud and excited to say that I know I CAN DO IT!

Week 6, Day 1 and a little recognition!

Well, I got through it.  Week 6, day 1.  Seems like it should have been easier than it was.  I did great for the first two legs and even did OK the first 2 minutes of the last 5 minute leg, but then I was really feeling it.  I know that the third leg must have been comical to watch from the outside.  I know I wasn't walking, but I wonder if everyone else watching did!  I had Chubby Jones with me though, and her encouragement to keep it up kept me going.  I will say that when she announced we had only one minute to go and pushed us to sprint it if we could, I could only stare at the hill before me and let out a laugh.  Thanks for trying Chubby, but not this time!

I also ran on Tuesday of this week.  I went out to run the 20 straight minutes again and ended up walking for a minute or two after the first 10 minutes before finishing the last 10 minutes.  I intended to blog about it, but it has been a crazy week and my computer has been a bit in limbo, so no go on Tuesday.  C'est la vie...

Despite my frustration over feeling like this process is a puzzle with a missing piece, I continue to look for it and strive for completion.  But more than that, I strive to get back to that place I was in my head where I looked forward to running and felt exuberant about it.  I liked how that made me feel and I won't give up until I have it back.  I am so thankful for this blog and all of you who read it because it is helping to keep me honest and forcing me to keep thinking about this and not pushing it to the side.

On that note, I move on to some recognition I have received!  Tara from So Skinny On the Inside nominated me for a blog award called The Versatile Blogger.  I've never received any kind of recognition like this, so it is kind of exciting!  It isn't a contest with winners and losers, just a way for bloggers to recognize each other.  There are a lot of amazing blogs out there covering every topic under the sun and this award is a great way for people to share some of the great ones they know.  I think it is great!

So here are the rules that go along with this particular award:

Thank the person who gave you the award.

1. Share seven things about yourself.
2. Nominate bloggers who you have recently discovered and who you think are   fantastic! 
3. Let your nominees know about the award.

 And so with that:

1. THANK YOU TARA!!!   You like me, you really like me!  I can't tell you how much I appreciate your recognition and praise.  There are so many blogs out there and it means a lot to me that you chose mine to honor.  I love writing the blog and it is enough motivation in and of itself, but I love that it is helping and inspiring others.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!  Your blog is also great and I encourage my blog readers to check yours out too:  http://soskinnyontheinside.blogspot.com/

2. Seven things about me:

• I can't even remember what my true hair color looks like anymore.  Between the hair dye color that changes every other month (because I can never remember the brand or exact color from last time) and the almost full head of grays I have now, the truth is likely to remain a mystery until the end of time.
• I like to play the guitar.  I used to do it far more often, but my time is in high demand these days.  I look forward to getting back to it more in the future.
• I am 35 and have lived at one point in time in all of the following cities:  Peabody, MA, Allenstown, NH, Manchester, NH, Durham, NH, Dover, NH, Portland, OR, Chicago, IL, Oakland, CA, Berkeley, CA, Sacramento, CA, Fair Oaks, CA, Orangevale, CA, Bayside, CA and McKinleyville, CA...those of you who have been in my life long enough started using pencil in your address books for my info long ago.
• I met my husband in Las Vegas in early summer of 1999.  We were married on September 8, 2001
• I love to play board games.  Scrabble is my favorite, but love any game that challenges my mind
• I am a life-long, die-hard Red Sox fan and therefor hate, loathe, detest the Yankees.
• My favorite flavor of ice cream is Ben & Jerry's Chubby Hubby:  vanilla ice cream with ripples of peanut butter and fudge throughout and chocolate covered, peanut butter filled pretzels throughout...it is salty and sweet heaven in a carton.

3. I wish I had more time to read more blogs.  I know there is so much out there that inspires, motivates and helps people through their day.  I will nominate some now, but in the future, if I come across more that are deserving, I'll take the time to recognize them too.  Without further ado:

• Kudos to Meredith at The Next Installment is... 
• I love the positivity of the Street Guru at http://always-something-there-to-remind-me.blogspot.com/
• For the humorous candor about being a stay at home mom and raising children, thumbs up to Christa at MushBrain

There are so many more, but I'm feeling like a mushbrain now and need to go to bed.  I will finish step four tomorrow and let my nominees know.  In the meantime, as always, discouraged or not, don't forget that we are all capable of acts of strength bigger than we can imagine.  That's what it feels like I need to channel some mornings to finish a run, but the bottom line is that I CAN DO IT!  And so can you :-)

Week 5, Day 3 - if at first you don't succeed

I decided at some point last night that I was going to move along to the day 3 run of week 5.  I just didn't want to deal with intervals.  So I headed out this morning and gave myself a good warm up walk and some good stretching.  At first, I felt tight and winded, but I warmed into it and it felt pretty good.  I made it most of the way, but at about 17 minutes, I felt my legs getting rubbery and I need to stop for fear that I might fall. 

I could be disappointed with that, but I'm not.  I'll do the same run on Tuesday and I am sure that I'll finish then.  After that I'll move along to week 6 (where I was when I went on vacation) and get the rest of the interval runs behind me.  I do need to stay focused and work hard the next two weeks as I am entering a 2 mile race on the 11th.  Not a huge one, but the first race I have run in since high school.  Having never done this as an adult and never having witnessed a race before, I have no idea how my pace will stack up against the rest of the field.  I have no illusions of winning and even suspect that I could finish dead last, but to me, that hardly matters.  Having the motivation of a race is what is helping me right now.  Knowing that as long as I run the two miles without stopping to walk, I'll feel a huge sense of personal accomplishment.  And hey, if I do finish D.F.L, then at least I have no where to go but up!

I have my first 5K planned for Saturday, September 11, so I have just over a month to be ready for that.  My husband, who is not training, is planning to run with me in this race.  I am both excited and nervous about this...you see, he has always been more athletic and in better shape than me and so I look forward to running with him and being able to keep up.  However, I am nervous that he might still beat me and that would just drive me crazy!!!  So there's some more motivation:  small and petty, yes, but also effective, I hope. 

Onward I shall run then.  I feel like I am getting back to it, but I still feel I am missing some of the fire I had before I went on vacation.  I'm still looking for it and if anyone knows where I could find it, I'd love to hear from you!  Until then, I'll try and remember that I CAN DO IT!

week 5, day 1, version 3 - getting the spring back in my step

So, for the third time, I began week 5 today.  If you recall, I did days one and two twice before I moved on to day 3 last time around.  As they say, practice makes perfect and I'm pretty sure I have this one down now.  It was really nice to have a good run.  I didn't run into any wild animals and I didn't hate being out there.  I finished the intervals with relative ease and felt good at the end.  All in all, a very successful outing.

I am going to run the second interval the day after tomorrow just to give myself one more ramp up, but once again, I'll say it - I am getting over the intervals.  I think I have reached the point where I just need to go out and run and adjust my pace as I go.  I refuse to watch a stop clock while doing this program and as much as I like the Chubby Jones Podcast, I don't love all the music she chooses.  I just look forward to going out there, listening to what I want and running. 

As you might have ascertained by reading my various blog entries, some of my surrounding area leaves a bit to be desired.  I live in an absolutely beautiful place though.  People travel the world to come visit the majestic Redwoods we have here and I live two miles from the beautiful California coast.  There are beautiful trails that follow the coastline and weave in and out of the wooded areas.  Sounds perfect, right?  Here's the thing:  am I safe to go out into the forest by myself and run these trails?  Is it wise for me to go running alone on the Hammond Trail when many parts of it are somewhat remote? 

I love the solitude I have while running.  It seems like the only time in my day when I don't need to be responsive to anyone else for any reason.  You stay-at-home moms out there understand.  I love what I do and feel very blessed to be able to stay home with my kids, but that doesn't mean it is perfect.  Like every job out there, it has its frustrations and aggravations.  So this being said, I am not particularly interested in finding a running partner.  It would be fun to run with friends now and then or enter races with other runners I know, but as far as the every day routine goes, I prefer to go it alone.  So what's a girl to do?  I want to venture out and find better spots to run in, but I don't want to be putting myself in peril for it.  What do the rest of you do?  How do you shake it up and keep it fresh while staying safe?

I look forward to hearing from you all.  In the meantime, I wish you all safe and happy trails and hope you feel as I do -  that this mission is possible.  We can be fit.  We can be healthy.  We can run and we can even like it!  You can do it and I can do it too!

Week 4, Day 1 revisited and reunions of the animal kind

My daughter was feeling better yesterday and I thought I would get more sleep last night, but alas, my son was sick and I was up quite a bit with him.  This did not get in the way of my run this morning though.  I didn't want to get up.  I wanted nothing more than to stay warm and toasty in my bed and catch as many more zees as I could before the little ones woke up.  I didn't though.  I got up, dressed and got out there to do the run.

Three weeks of vacation really made my memory short because I took an old path this morning that led me to some old canine friends.  At the same corner where I once encountered a big black dog and Cletus, I found myself "face to face" with what seemed an older golden retriever.  He didn't advance on me, but he followed me giving the occasional bark.  I wasn't feeling too threatened yet, but soon THE black dog was on the scene and he was acting more threateningly.  He barked, growled and followed me more closely.  I was walking backwards, facing the dog, pepper spray in hand, finger on the trigger.  I am happy to report that I did not need to use it, though I was very happy to have it!

Up to this point, I had been walking, trying to clear the cobwebs in my head.  But the sudden surge of adrenaline made me decide that the time to run had come.  All in all, I was very comfortable with this run.  As I recall, the middle two segments of running were the best for me.  Once Chubby Jones told me to walk after the first 5 minute run, I felt I could have gone on.  The next three minute run was likewise a good one and at its end, I could have kept going.  The we hit that last 5 minute run and that was the one that killed me.  One segment over the line for me...I would have done better to start on week 5 and run the 3 longer segments, but I didn't feel confidant enough that I could have done it.  Shame on me for doubting my abilities. 

The mental game is back on.  I almost forgot that it was almost as big a part of the deal as the physical part.  Believing I can do it.  Believing I can finish.  Psyching myself up for a run and wanting to get out there and do it.  Sleep should help.  But mostly, it is on me to get my head back in the game.  I am working on it.  I'll be running Week 5, Day 1 again the day after tomorrow and you can rest assured that I will be working the old positive affirmations at bedtime.  Because I want to do this, I know that I CAN DO IT.

I'm back, but the mojo hasn't caught up to me yet...

I am back from vacation, unpacked and getting back into the swing of things.  Somewhere between New Hampshire and California, Ella caught strep throat, so sleep is in short supply and patience and understanding is in great demand.  I did manage to get in a run yesterday before our trip to urgent care and it was not pretty!

Got my stretch in and started with a nice walk and then got to jogging.  I decided not to jump back in with a program run, rather, I'd just  go out and see what I could do after three weeks of very undicsiplined, unstructured running.  It was not good.  Far from going out there and running 20 minutes without stopping, I was tired and out of breath far earlier than I had been.  I went about 2 1/2 miles and I'd venture to say a good mile plus of it was walking.  I'm sure that part of the problem was lack of sleep.  Of course, some of it was just being out of practice and routine.  The last of it though, I suspect was lack of structure.  I should have had more of a plan and pushed myself to reach goals.  C'est la vie.  Live and learn.  Tomorrow morning I will get up and I am going to step back to a week 4 workout.  I will most likely do this once then go back to week 5 and repeat it in its entirety then move forward from there.

I have mixed feelings about what has happened here.  I am glad I made the most of my vacation.  I saw so many old and good friends, spent time with my family and did so many fun things with my kids.  It was a very well spent, exhausting time and I loved every minute of it.  I am disappointed though that it came at the cost of my running momentum.  I wish that I had been able to carry on while I was back there and not lose the drive I had.  So many of my fellow runners are so crushed to lose their momentum due to injury and I have always felt so bad for them because I knew how important the routine and consistency was to my success.  Now I am there because of choice, not circumstance.  Honestly, I am not being too hard on myself.  I just wish I could have had my cake and ate it too. 

I do remain committed to this and tomorrow will be the first day of the next stage in this process for me.  A new starting point with the same finish line in sight.  My choice may have made the road to the finish a little harder, but I will get there.  So, here, I pick up the old mantra, like the Olympic torch, raise it high and carry it with pride:  I CAN DO IT!

Running on vacation

I have very limited time at the moment to write.  My sister is undergoing surgery today for a herniated disc in her neck, my mom as with her at the hospital and I am watching over my children and my brother's as well.  I have been having a very enjoyable vacation and have found it to packed full of daytime and evening activities that my C25K journey has been temporarily interrupted.  I have been getting in some quick jogs on the treadmill and even tried running on the treadmill with a Wii remote in the running program.  made it less boring, but still, not the same.  My runs have not been routine and I regret that, but I have been having an incredible vacation.  I will be getting home next Thursday and intend to get back on the horse once I do.  I think I will have to backtrack a bit...do a few workouts from earlier weeks and ramp back to Week 6 and beyond.

I continue to appreciate the support I get from my fellow C25Kers and I hope that your journies are continuing with great success.  I very much look forward to returning to my routine and completing my program!  While a little sidetracked for the moment, I continue to be sure that I CAN DO IT!

No week, no day - a case of spontaneous fun time

It is difficult to stick with the running routine while on vacation.  My us for dinner after work.  mom and I decided on Thursday to take a day trip to Boston so we could bring the kiddos to the Boston Children's Museum.  I figured I would hit the treadmill when we returned.  It was a very good time and my children really loved this amazing museum.  As we were heading into the museum gift shop, my mom slipped away for a few minutes and when she returned, she announced that she has used points to book us a room at a hotel for the night.  That way, she figured, we could go hit Quincy Market, get some dinner and then take the kids to the aquarium the next day.  We were totally unprepared, so we needed to go pick up some clean clothes and pajamas (thank goodness for the $2.99 deals at The Children's Place!!), diapers and toothbrushes, but what the heck, I was game.

We had a fabulous night and returned to the hotel with two exhausted human beings (and the kids were pretty spent too).  The next morning as we were getting ready to go out, my mom decided extend the stay another night and make another entire day of it.  We had another killer day and my sister came and joined us for dinner and merriment after work.  We had so much fun!

Today we hit the IMAX Theater, shopped around and had lunch at Pizzeria Regina (the greatest pizza EVER).  Finally we loaded up the car (much heavier than when we unloaded it, that's for sure) and headed back to my folk's place.  It was amazing fun and living a bit spontaneously always does something good for your soul and spirit!

So, this is a very long winded way to tell you all that I haven't run since Tuesday.  I will get out tomorrow, but I am not quite sure what I will do.  I need to sleep on it and see wh\at feels right in the morning.  Until then, I hope you are all doing well and making great progress.  Despite the lack of structure, I know I will get back on course.  I am determined to finish this program and have fitness be a part of my regular routine.  And I know, if I am determined to do something, that I CAN DO IT!  And I will :-)

Week 6, Day 1, version 2 - getting back to it

OK, I am finding it much more difficult to keep this up on vacation than I thought I would.  For starters, its like 100 degrees here.  I am running on the treadmill in the house, so that isn't so much the problem, but the heat is wiping me out.  I feel so low energy that it is a Herculean effort to go upstairs for a run.  Also, I don't like running on the treadmill.  Even with the iPod and a TV in the room, I find it very boring to run in one spot.  That being said, I ran yesterday on the treadmill after having blown off running on Sunday AND Monday.  Our fourth of July party started on Saturday afternoon when the first revellers arrived.  The last of them did not leave my parent's house until Monday evening.  It was so much fun, but absolutely impossible to motivate for a run.

I have said it before, but getting off schedule is a big problem.  The routine is important and I think your body gets conditioned to the schedule.  Boy did I feel it yesterday.  It was a miserable run and I hated every second of it.  It is so tough when that happens because then the dread sets in for the next run.  I need to hit it again tomorrow, but I can't think of anything I want to do less.  I am loving the time I am spending with my family and so glad I still have 2 more weeks of vacation here, but in addition to seeing my husband, I look forward to getting back into the routine I love at home.  I don't think I will ever love running on the treadmill and as long as this heat holds up, I just can't bring myself to run in it.  Seriously, there is a 30 degree difference here from home...I did see that there is rain on the horizon this weekend, so I may take that opportunity to go outside and run.  THAT would be more like my home routine.

No matter where or how though, I need to just keep it up.  I will do my very best to bring a bit of sunshine back to my blog next time (and BTW, it is very difficult to write this blog here...the computer is upstairs and my kids are very bored up here!).  I don't want to let any of you down though nor do I want to let myself down, so I will push through this slump and I will do better!  Though it seems a little more challenging today to hang onto the motto, I will tell myself over and over until I am really feeling it again:  I CAN DO IT!

Week 6, day 1 - Intervals on a treadmill

I went out last night with some old friends from high school and didn't come in until almost 1:00 in the morning. I tell you this because I did not run this morning as I had planned to. I took advantage of my mother's generosity and slept in while she cared for my children. We spent the day shopping in Portsmouth, NH and had a great time. By the time we got home, it was nearly dinner time and I knew what I had to do...there was no putting it off any longer, it was time for some C25K. I can't lie here and tell you I am feeling as enthusiastic about this as I usually do. Au contraire, I am finding it very difficult to motivate. The one thought driving me here is that I will be so let down and will let so ma people down if I flake out at this point, so I must keep going and hope that I'll get my mojo back sooner than later.

So, I changed into my running clothes, put on the new shoes and hit the treadmill. What I liked about the treadmill was how I could experiment with my pace while I was watching my time. I liked that I could kick up the speed and then see if I was going to be able to go the distance. It was kind of cool to turn up the speed dial and finish each segment with a 60 second push. What I hated about the treadmill was how I could see the time. While I did enjoy the benefits previously mentioned, I did find that my mind lingered much more on the task at hand while I watched the seconds tick away. I really think I do better when I am completely unaware of the time and either respond to prompts to walk or run or just run while listening to my audiobook and checking the time once I've come close to a mile marker. Like we've all learned so well along the way, so much of this process is mental. What I was putting out physically wasn't any more than usual, but I still seemed to be harder. I don't know...what do some of you treadmill runners think? My next run day is supposed to be on Sunday. We're having a big party at my parent's house and I fully expect to eat and drink a lot, so I have to, have to, have to run in the morning. It is also expected to be extremely hot, so I think I will hit it on the treadmill again, but maybe this time I'll hide the display and go with my podcast again.

Once again, I've written this on my mom's iPad and editing is kind of hard, and for some reason, the spell check button doesn't come up on the page. So, my apologies for typos and errors and I hope you will continue to bear with me. I hope you all have a safe and happy Fourth of July. A very special shout out to my amazing, wonderful husband who will be celebrating his birthday on Independence Day without me and the kids. I love you and want you to know that in addition to my own drive to do this program, because of your love and support, I continue to be able to say with certainty, I CAN DO IT!

Winging it

So, I am in New Hampshire. I am typing this blog entry on my mother's iPad which is pretty cool, but very strange. I wanted to run this morning, however, both my parents went to work before 6:00 and I was way too tired from two days of travel to get up that early. Also, as it turns out, I forgot to pack my running shoes. When my husband reads this, he is going to think that this was intentional, but it really wasn't. I ran the morning I left for the trip and simply forgot to throw my shoes in the suitcase before I left. So, I went and got new shoes this afternoon. I've wanted to get some for a while, so this was not really a great tragedy.

I ended up visiting my old B.J.'s store, Runner's Alley in Nashua, NH. He spent a great deal of time helping me find the right shoe and in the end I went with some Saucony Progrid Guide 3 running shoes. If you are in this area, I highly recommend you give Runner's Alley a chance to earn your business. I feel confidant you will not be sorry you did!

After buying the shoes, I returned to my folk's place and my brother and his kids were there, so I spent time with them, had some dinner, bathed my daughter and got her to bed. Then finally, it was time for me to go for my run. I was to begin week 6 today, however, for some reason, I did not have the week 6 podcasts on my iPod and my C25K program printout was in the room was daughter was sleeping in, so I decided that I would simply run. It was not the greatest I've ever felt running. I think it was because: (a) I was running after a meal in the evening and I am used to running early in the morning on an empty stomach, (b) I forgot to grab my inhaler out of my suitcase before I left, and (c) while it is far from oppressively hot here, it was much warmer and more humid than I am used to it being while I run. In short, it was not exactly the run of my life. Better luck next time. That will be on Friday and I intend to run early and most likely inside on the treadmill. Wish me luck! Despite a less Han stellar outing, I remain as certain as ever that I can do it!

(p.s... It is very difficult to edit this on the iPad, so please excuse typos. when I can get on to a computer, I will come back and fix any mistakes.)

Week 5, Day 3 - Oh, what a feeling!

Last night I was really excited to do this morning's run.  I kept thinking about my route and the pace I would start at.  I was looking forward to putting my headphones on and losing myself in the audio book I am halfway through.  I went to bed astounded that five weeks in from the starting line, I was about to go for a 20 minute run and I wasn't dreading it.  In fact, I have 2 races on my calendar now - a two mile race that is right up the street from my house and a 5 K on September 11.  I can't wait either.  And I can hardly believe that I am doing this.  It is a most amazing physical and mental transformation.  Go me!

My run was no let down either.  I took a nice almost mile long walk to get me warmed up and then I started in on my run.  About 8 minutes in, I stopped for a few seconds to stretch my calves out as they were getting really tight and starting to hurt.  I went right back to it though and never once was I feeling like I couldn't go on.  I just ran, listening to my book, concentrating on my breathing and posture and felt great.  I didn't look at the time again until it had been 22 minutes and I couldn't believe it.  I ran for 22 minutes and I could have kept running.  I didn't.  I slowed down and walked strong to give myself a good cool down.  I felt amazing and proud and strong.

I don't know how I could have gone so long without feeling like this.  I am excited to get through week 6 so I can put the interval running behind me.  I liked just running.  I need to complete this program in its entirety so I can say I am a graduate of it, so I can have that sense of accomplishment and follow through.  If I didn't need that, I'd be throwing interval running out the window and going for it.

Monday morning I am going to repeat W5D3 with a little bit of a quicker pace.  I will be leaving that morning to make the trip down to San Francisco with my kids and will be flying to Boston the next day at 6:00 a.m.  My husband is staying home, so I'm on my own with the two kids, so it's a pretty busy and hectic schedule and for that reason, I doubt I will have the chance to blog about my run.  Rest assured, I will do it and I will update the Facebook C25K to make it "official".  I'll be doing my runs in New Hampshire for the next three weeks though and will blog from there.  So, look for the next update on Wednesday.  In the meantime, continued luck and encouragement goes out to all my C25K comrades!  I did it.  If I can kick W5D3's ass, then you can too.  I'm going to be a runner.  I'm going to run in races.  I am going to be strong and healthy.  I am going to teach my children how to do the same.  We can all do this.  You can do it and I CAN DO IT too!

Week 5, Day 2 interval 2 - program alterations and being chased by a dog

The plan this morning was to drive my car to the car dealership for servicing and then jog home.  I spent a good deal of time online last night plotting out the route I would take so I could get an ample amount of walk time before and after my run.  I had it all figured and had decided to shorten the walk time to 3 minutes between my two 8 minute runs.  I was going to need to have my pepper spray with me this morning as I would be going on the street where the loose dog had scared me once before (which I haven't jogged past since).

So, off I went this morning, dropped the car and started on my way.  First obstacle:  a road that appeared to go all the way through neighborhoods on the map did not, and I had to turn around and find another way through.  No problem.  I can handle that!  I ended up heading back up a way further to a cut through I've taken many times.  As I made my way out, about 2 minutes into my run, a HUGE German Shepard rounded the corner all alone.  I stopped dead in my tracks and watched.  In an instant, the dog darted in my direction and started toward me barking.  Shit!  I forgot to grab the pepper spray.  I turned and ran toward a driveway and came around the back side of someone's SUV.  The dog stopped on the other side of the car, watching me, growling.  I was ready to jump on top of the car if I needed to when an old man came around the corner.  I yelled to him and asked if this was his dog and he said, "yes, don't worry, he won't hurt you."  The hell he won't.  I have had far too much trouble with animals in the last few weeks and this was the final straw.  I just unleashed on this guy.  I started to yell at him that if he has an animal that would chase someone and growl at them, then they are capable of hurting them too.  I told him that if I had a phone, I'd be calling the police.  He apologized, but that was not enough for me.  I said that everyone thinks their dogs are the nicest and would never hurt anyone, but dogs do hurt people.  Dogs, no matter how much we love them, are animals and are therefore subject to erratic and unexpected behavior and THAT IS WHY THEY HAVE LEASH LAWS!!!!!  "Get your dog on a leash!" 

He dragged the dog off by his collar and I took off running, my body surging with adrenaline that I didn't want to waste.  Boy was I pissed off.  I ran for 6 more minutes at a very fast speed and then slowed down to recover a bit.  I didn't want to walk a full 5 minutes again, so I shortened it to 3 minutes and then started running again.  This time, that last eight minutes was really good.  In fact, I ran a little more than 9 minutes.  I had decided to forgo the podcast this morning and ran listening to my audio book (it is a really good one and I've been listening every minute I possible can).  The segments are long enough and I've done this enough times now that I know when I need to check my time.  When I looked at the clock at the end of my run I was pleasantly surprised to see that not only had I finished, I had surpassed my goal!  A great feeling to have just before the 20 minute run.  I feel very encouraged and actually excited for this.  I think I'll enjoy it.  I hope so anyway.  But today's run melted my doubts away and has lifted my confidence.  Saturday morning, I will run for 20 minutes without any walking and for the first time since this all began, I feel very sure that I CAN DO IT!